~Smiles~

My Friends Are AWESOME!!!

welcome to my life

April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 October 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 June 2008 October 2008 February 2009 January 2010 February 2010 May 2010 June 2010 December 2010 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 May 2012 June 2012 August 2012 December 2012 March 2013 December 2013 January 2014 April 2014 November 2014 March 2015

Sometimes, things just feel a little overwhelming, not so much of a physical manifestation but rather the mental drain from feeling too much.  Treading a thin line, feeling as if once the inertia has ceased, it will be an empty, devastating fall into a whirlpool of the unknown. Whether the whirlpool is the stairway to a better place seems so debatable,  a roll of a dice dictate the side of line where the story ends. It hurts knowing that maybe the truth has always been right there. But acceptance has never been easy. With every passing day it gets more concrete, as if it has always been set in stone.  And yet, circumstances seems to erode the stone as well. Swaying resolves, wandering thoughts that can't settle. Picking up pieces left behinds but what about it. Why bother picking them up when all that remains are incoherent, incomprehensible pieces, shattered, disillusioned visions and darken thoughts. Little by little, eating away the feelings you have,  diminishing the capacity to feel, to become so numb in order to not hurt. Numbness, the only hope of rest, from the turmoil within, solace and rest. Numbness for acceptance, true acceptance,  to detach away from expectations and explanations, from false pretenses, from the paradoxical way that things has turned out. Most of all. To be numb enough to not fall into that whirlpool beneath.