~Smiles~

My Friends Are AWESOME!!!

welcome to my life

April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 October 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 June 2008 October 2008 February 2009 January 2010 February 2010 May 2010 June 2010 December 2010 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 May 2012 June 2012 August 2012 December 2012 March 2013 December 2013 January 2014 April 2014 November 2014 March 2015

So glad to be back home after such a long week. Had an awesome week at school, lots of fun with my house yesterday and all, but I am so worn out today. Slept in till almost noon in fact.

So this is Day #5 of 365Grateful

Labels: 365Grateful, Day #5

Day #2 365Grateful

My Awesome friend Pearlynn came down for a stay over in Raffles Hall :) So glad to have the chance to meet her again after so long. It was like ages since we met. Missed her bubbly, cheerful personality.




Day #3 365Grateful

So grateful to have someone around and always being so caring about me, especially when I am sick or down.  <3>
Day #4 365Grateful

A certain someone gave me a new pet :') Meet my new study companion. Made me happy at an eight am lecture.  I just kept smiling at this little new fluffy pet of mine :) HEHEHE. 

Labels: 365Grateful, Day #1, Day #2, Day #3, Day #4

So after watching this video I have decided to post about my own 365 grateful as well as I find it so meaningful.  It's so true that we take so many things for granted and always fail to appreciate all the small things in life. Its bait late for a New Year's thing BUT I am still going to do it. I don't own a polaroid so I am just going to make use of my com and phone etc. Hopefully I can capture all the amazing moments of 2014 and make this an extremely memorable year for me :)










So recently there was a headline on the Kpop star who said she was not proud to be Singaporean and she did an youtube video on why she wasn't proud to be a Singaporean. Even though some of the points made (like minimum wages) aren't exactly accurate, I have to say that I can empathise with several of the points that she was making. Her point about the social capital in Singapore does hit home for me and reminds me of my experiences as well. Indeed Singapore seems to have no or very little space for artiste to grow, because of the very fact that we have grown to be quite pragmatic people. The importance of academics are stressed on because people view professionals like doctors, lawyers etc to be more prestigious, in a way "real & good" jobs. I remember after I got my O levels result, I was contemplating to go into the music but I remembered what my mum said. That there's no practicality in having a music degree, it's a waste of time and money, nobody appreciates music here, what are you going to do after you graduate etc. Granted that it is true that the arts scenes in Singapore here is pretty apathetic but it is this viscous cycle of not being supportive of endeavours into the arts scene and not giving the space for its growth that has led many of us down the path where academics are of utmost importance and everything else is secondary to it. I was one of the more fortunate one whereby I got the chance and freedom to explore more then my academics throughout my time in TKGS.

Still I struggled a lot after my graduation and moving into JC. I went to RJ. It wasn't exactly where I wanted to go (it is a long story) and after having come from a cozy school of less then 400 to an environment of 1500 people per cohort where excelling in academics is the main drive of the education there, it is no wonder that I hardly fit in. I felt inferior being in a school where academic abilities defines you. Of course that's not always true, the emphasis on a holistic education is being pushed for in RJ but I remember what my teachers always say: " Do well (in your academics) and you can go to any university you want to, if not, your dreams would be for nothing". Fundamentally, meritocracy is a sound ideology but it is like what people commonly say, you can't judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its entire live believing that it is stupid. I find the emphasis on academics on the whole in Singapore being a bit too overbearing sometimes. You get judge by what school you come from, what subjects you take, what instruments you learn and ultimately your choice of course that determines your future career. I choose to not take medicine because I personally feel that it is not me. I wasn't sure if I wanted to spend six years of my life dealing with cadavers when I am more interested in drugs and research. I wasn't sure if I was capable of putting aside a 100hours work week and not feel the guilt of neglecting my family. And dem it, I am pretty sure I wasn't the kind of person who would deal well with the emotional commitments to my patients and how I would / could possibly react when things don't go well. So since I didn't have the funds to study my dream course (which isn't available locally) I chose to go into Pharmacy. And many judge my decision as such - why give up on such a prestigious course? Pharmacy is where all the medicine rejects are and many such negative things which in my opinions, are pretty uncalled for. I think what we need is a shift in mindset to start embracing that society needs more then just doctors and lawyers, they are supposedly "highly intellectual" individuals - granted, but that doesn't make the rest of the people obsolete because they are all talented and unique individuals with the same passion as what drives a doctor to study and learn all the texts and give themselves up to the course of medicine. We can't complain about Singapore being a stressful and rigid society if we don't take a step back a realised how the motif of academics being imperative to everything is so inbuilt into us unconsciously and we ourselves are sometimes guilty of it.

And yet, what I really want to say as well is that, yes Singapore isn't perfect, so we are a group of pragmatic people and society is apathetic to many issues and stuffs. But that doesn't mean that I am not proud to be a Singaporean (unlike how she feels). I have been through its system, being banded and streamed into bands in primary schools (I never do well with those, always pretty low band 3 but thankfully they removed the system) and into schools of various "calibre" and opportunities to learn and grow. I did say that my experiences helped me to better understand this place I live in and I am proud to be a Singaporean, because I am proud of who I am today. That said, change is definitely taking place as people are starting to realised the imperfections within our society, so why not stay and be part of the change rather than taking flight to a country where you "fit in". That doesn't make you any different from the people you claimed to be absolutely apathetic towards the plight of the people.

Been so tired and feeling so depressed lately. Though I got to say, I am so thankful to have my awesome sis to be there for me always. Love ya so much. You are the only person ever to listen to all my whinings and rantings and not judge me for anything as always and telling me all the things I need to know in my face. Did I mention how lucky I am? Anyway, thanks for all the love and concern for me, especially how moody I am in now (you know with all the things that has been happening). Been so long since we had some quality time together and I miss ya tonnes - I think I needed this girlfriend time for a freaking long time :) We need to chill and hang out more - seriously - before we both get bog down my our commitments and other obligations (tell me about it >.< ). I think I am born to be a hermit. I am just so uncomfortable with how everything is right now - my bad I guess. But... meh. I hate misunderstandings. Sigh, but I don't feel like clearing this one up. He can just put the blame on me...

Sigh, Haven't had a good week so far. Oh well. So glad I made it through - slightly battered but - I will survive. wheee I wonder why I have been so down lately. I guess I am just not use to the feeling of being lonely and insecure. I wonder if I will ever get use to it. Probably going to just hermit my way through the next 17 weeks. Haha. I guess I have never been insecure about myself (at least not this extent) before. This is going to take me sometime to get use to. Speaking of which, I am glad rag is progressing well.