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So recently there was a headline on the Kpop star who said she was not proud to be Singaporean and she did an youtube video on why she wasn't proud to be a Singaporean. Even though some of the points made (like minimum wages) aren't exactly accurate, I have to say that I can empathise with several of the points that she was making. Her point about the social capital in Singapore does hit home for me and reminds me of my experiences as well. Indeed Singapore seems to have no or very little space for artiste to grow, because of the very fact that we have grown to be quite pragmatic people. The importance of academics are stressed on because people view professionals like doctors, lawyers etc to be more prestigious, in a way "real & good" jobs. I remember after I got my O levels result, I was contemplating to go into the music but I remembered what my mum said. That there's no practicality in having a music degree, it's a waste of time and money, nobody appreciates music here, what are you going to do after you graduate etc. Granted that it is true that the arts scenes in Singapore here is pretty apathetic but it is this viscous cycle of not being supportive of endeavours into the arts scene and not giving the space for its growth that has led many of us down the path where academics are of utmost importance and everything else is secondary to it. I was one of the more fortunate one whereby I got the chance and freedom to explore more then my academics throughout my time in TKGS.

Still I struggled a lot after my graduation and moving into JC. I went to RJ. It wasn't exactly where I wanted to go (it is a long story) and after having come from a cozy school of less then 400 to an environment of 1500 people per cohort where excelling in academics is the main drive of the education there, it is no wonder that I hardly fit in. I felt inferior being in a school where academic abilities defines you. Of course that's not always true, the emphasis on a holistic education is being pushed for in RJ but I remember what my teachers always say: " Do well (in your academics) and you can go to any university you want to, if not, your dreams would be for nothing". Fundamentally, meritocracy is a sound ideology but it is like what people commonly say, you can't judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its entire live believing that it is stupid. I find the emphasis on academics on the whole in Singapore being a bit too overbearing sometimes. You get judge by what school you come from, what subjects you take, what instruments you learn and ultimately your choice of course that determines your future career. I choose to not take medicine because I personally feel that it is not me. I wasn't sure if I wanted to spend six years of my life dealing with cadavers when I am more interested in drugs and research. I wasn't sure if I was capable of putting aside a 100hours work week and not feel the guilt of neglecting my family. And dem it, I am pretty sure I wasn't the kind of person who would deal well with the emotional commitments to my patients and how I would / could possibly react when things don't go well. So since I didn't have the funds to study my dream course (which isn't available locally) I chose to go into Pharmacy. And many judge my decision as such - why give up on such a prestigious course? Pharmacy is where all the medicine rejects are and many such negative things which in my opinions, are pretty uncalled for. I think what we need is a shift in mindset to start embracing that society needs more then just doctors and lawyers, they are supposedly "highly intellectual" individuals - granted, but that doesn't make the rest of the people obsolete because they are all talented and unique individuals with the same passion as what drives a doctor to study and learn all the texts and give themselves up to the course of medicine. We can't complain about Singapore being a stressful and rigid society if we don't take a step back a realised how the motif of academics being imperative to everything is so inbuilt into us unconsciously and we ourselves are sometimes guilty of it.

And yet, what I really want to say as well is that, yes Singapore isn't perfect, so we are a group of pragmatic people and society is apathetic to many issues and stuffs. But that doesn't mean that I am not proud to be a Singaporean (unlike how she feels). I have been through its system, being banded and streamed into bands in primary schools (I never do well with those, always pretty low band 3 but thankfully they removed the system) and into schools of various "calibre" and opportunities to learn and grow. I did say that my experiences helped me to better understand this place I live in and I am proud to be a Singaporean, because I am proud of who I am today. That said, change is definitely taking place as people are starting to realised the imperfections within our society, so why not stay and be part of the change rather than taking flight to a country where you "fit in". That doesn't make you any different from the people you claimed to be absolutely apathetic towards the plight of the people.